Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Anxiety

First of all, thank you Veronique, and Samantha, I don't know why my comment reply is not appearing on the comments, but I'll reply here in my next post. Your comments managed to help me pull myself together to keep going. It gave me a lot of hope to know it might take longer for the hairs to fall out especially.

It's been a week to the hour since I had the treatment. I stare daily at the mirror with hope and fear swelling up inside my mind. It has thinned out a lot, except for certain areas, and I'm feeling generally better about it, but about 60% of it is still stuck in there, and in certain areas its still a full blown carpet.

It's no secret that I'm a person with a bad problem with anxiety. I get nervous and even paranoid at the drop of a hat. the daunting thought that I will need to look into -only- electrolysis means it will be years before I can go full time.

But its looking more and more like it will fall out, and my hopes are getting higher and higher. I can't help from watching the mirror with straining anxiety, but I'll try to stay strong, even if they don't fall out.

I've been forced to start shaving again, I have to go on with my life and think about other things.

I guess I had a lot less to say today than I thought. Thanks again for the comments everyone.

2 comments:

VĂ©ro B said...

Good on you for hanging tough! You have so much to deal with. I admire you for going ahead with what you need to do despite such obstacles.

It's definitely going to take more than one laser session before you'll feel that you've spent your money wisely, but it does work. I know you can't just say "today I won't be anxious," but try to talk rational sense to yourself when you get anxious. Whatever works to keep you calm.

Samantha Shanti said...

Ever seen a cat spook and stick to the ceiling? Tail and fur all puffed up vibrating like it was fixing to explode, or shred anything that comes near? Yeah, well, now that you have the visual, imagine your writing an e-mail and your computer pings to let you know more mail has come in? Yeah, you got it, Samantha, stuck to the ceiling...

So I keep the sound turned off.

Anxiety has been a part of my life for a while now. I keep tranquilizers in my purse, I don't go to places, or put myself in situations that are going to get me stuck to the ceiling or diving under furniture.

Wasn't just transition, it was life in general. It's not nearly as bad as it once was, but I'm far from perfect. It takes time to heal, starting with giving yourself permission to do it, and then taking the steps to move forward. You also need to give yourself the gift of time, because it isn't just deciding your all better and it happens. It takes time.

Take it from me, I know. The good news is it does get better! I've made amazing amounts of progress in the last two years alone, I can hardly believe it.