Friday, February 20, 2009

A victory and A defeat.

I'm now 24 years old. I mention that because my birthday was this month, on the 9th. I didn't do much on that day that was out of the ordinary. I saw my grandpa in the morning, and went over a friends house to play Dungeons and Dragons, because I'm nerdy that way. It was a big day I guess, it was my first real birthday as Sara. I had to spend part of the day dressed as a guy, because of Grandpa, and looking back on it, I kind of regret not asking him to see me the day before or after, I wish I didn't spend such a significant day dressed like that. I didn't get time to really freshen up after either so again, I spent the afternoon getting "he, err she sorry" from some of my friends.

That however, was not the most significant day of the month, for me. Rather the real big day was when I brought the form, signed by my doctor to the department of motor vehicles, and got the go ahead for a new Drivers license, which for me right now, basically just serves as a California ID, with my real name on it. Sara Marquilla Ross, F. My soon to be real name. Later that day however, I went to the bank to discuss changing my name there. I thought I wouldn't have a problem since it's a private organization, why should I need a federal name change? They told me since the bank is regulated by the government, I'd need the papers for a court name change. This seems utterly silly to me, since If I was opening an account, they would probably only ask for a picture ID, that said, my picture ID has not come in the mail yet, so I can't do anything yet anyways. I'll have to be more persistant about a court name change now that I've got my cellphone back.

My roomate and I have been going through some hell lately. Her bf broke up with her over personal things, but it turned out to be partially the result of a forced intervention on the part of his family. He got back together with her when he had the chance to speak to her in private, only to shortly after be kicked out of his house temporarily because his father over heard them on the phone. Her number was deleted by his family from his phone list but he re retrieved it easily. The shock and stress of this series of events has worn both of us down heavily, though I can only imagine what she's been going through. I personally hope he arrives here soon, I dont have issues sharing a room with a guy actually, though I think the feeling I've overstayed my welcome will become even worse. I've been looking on craigs list for housing options and I'm thinking of posting myself that I need a room... but I'm afraid of dangerous situations emerging from this, as I've heard the horror stories of what happens to girls like me, who come forward with what we are to a stranger. I couldn't live in a situation where I had to hide my transsexuality though, I just don't pass clearly enough and even if I did I wouldn't really feel safe...

Sara out.


Véro B said...

Ah, now I can see the text. Dunno what happened before. Sorry it has take me so long to write. I guess I don't have much to say on this one. I can imagine that your living situation must be difficult. I hope you can find a place where you can feel comfortable and be safe.

I'm surprised that you can change your driver's licence without a legal name change. Must be a California thing. :) It's great to have ID that shows the name you go by and reflects who you really are.

Samantha Shanti said...

California is interesting in that regard. A common law name and gender change is easy, just a note from a doctor. Congratulations Sara, I know just exactly how good it feels, how it felt, when I finally got the big step done! Rock on girl!

As to the bank, not only would you need a phone ID, but a social security card to open a new account. Both would have to have the same name on it. Part of the patriot act to cut down on funny money games bad people play. Of course to have a Social Security card with the right name on it, you'll have to have a court ordered name change. To have the gender changed, you'll need to have a surgical letter unless you are amazingly lucky.

Sounds like you're making progress though. Sorry you still had to pretend around your GrandDad, I know that is so hard. Sounds like you are moving in a good direction, I know how utterly frustrating it is to be taking so long, so I can totally empathize.

And hey, a belated happy birthday lady! May they all be much better from here on out!

Samantha Shanti said...

Oops, that was supposed to be photo ID, not phone ID, sorry!