tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827507184708653105.post5971480888455112556..comments2023-06-13T08:15:07.636-07:00Comments on Burning Cocoons: Still LifeSarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03165448435481764718noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827507184708653105.post-16903453660727093242008-08-24T18:35:00.000-07:002008-08-24T18:35:00.000-07:00Once, long ago, I had a dream of going to art scho...Once, long ago, I had a dream of going to art school and seriously chasing my dream, my love, of arts and photography to the point where maybe I could make a career out of it. I never quite really made it to art school, my Dad destroyed that possibility, and the lure of "easy, quick money" in Information Tech took my to other places in my life. I also had the dram of really being ME, not someone my Father told me I must be.<BR/><BR/>That was then.<BR/><BR/>Now, I'm fully, legally, medically and completely me. I've also managed to become a published photographer, an have shot weddings, events, and well everything. I have a high end DSLR made by Canon and have made plenty of money that way too. So my Dad, the misguided, mentally ill guy he was, turned out to be utterly wrong. <BR/><BR/>At the moment however I'm on disability because of the hells I went through with my late husband and his family, the abuse that he and they piled up on me. I read, watch videos, listen to music, write (online and off) and am working on healing myself enough to one day go back to work.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes it can be boring, but I'm smart enough at this point in life to know my limitations, and that it's taking time, and going to take time, for me to heal. So I focus on that.<BR/><BR/>You've been fighting so hard to get here Claudia, and it has taken energy, time and resources to make it possible, give yourself some time to reap the benefits. Being on disability for you right now has a hidden advantage you might not have thought of yet. You can focus on transition and get closer both in appearance and legally, to not having there be any question about who you are. In this day and age with just a little bit of work you could wait and start school 9or work) as you and not have to have the complications of "the between times" in either venue. Plus being on disability it will be a touch easier, and quite possibly much cheaper getting your name changed, which will go along way towards making the whole journey easier and less painful. The fact that you are on HRT and in therapy means you can also under California Law get your Gender marker changed on everything (even BC) well in advance of surgery.<BR/><BR/>The fact that your are responding this well, this quickly to HRT is a blessing. I know women who've been on HRT for years and are still waiting for changes. It also means you probably have more powerful and significant growth and change in front of you. Why not give yourself a little time while you have it. Six months, a year from now, even with the horrible shadow you probably won't be able to pass as male anymore, then you'll be in good shape.<BR/><BR/>Nothing says however you cannot spend time in the library reading up on stuff you love, becoming an expert in things that move you, preparing for school so that it will be easier when it's time to go back, or work, whatever you choose. <BR/><BR/>Talk to your SO, see what she thinks, share this with her, let her feel valued, included, part of your life, it will only help grow your relationship. Saarloos is right, bring her into it.<BR/><BR/>Plus we're all here to talk to if you want. No need to be so shy girl, we don't bite...<BR/><BR/>You're doing great Claudia, and you've come a very long way in a very short time. Keep up the great work!<BR/><BR/>I'm sending you an hug,<BR/><BR/>SamSamantha Shantihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10586759980410037672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827507184708653105.post-29696477631307350902008-08-23T16:38:00.000-07:002008-08-23T16:38:00.000-07:00Well one sure thing, when you find an occupation y...Well one sure thing, when you find an occupation your life will feel way less empty. Job or school. I used to work in a tough job and I didnt have time to be bored or empty. the downside is you trully lack free time when it gets on. You wake up, go to your job, and when the sun goes down all you think about is your pillow. <BR/>I wish you the best of luck in finding this occupation! <BR/>Also when i was facing difficulties, my lover helped a lot by offering care and support. Dont hesitate to call yours to the rescue if you feel submerged by it all. She'll be there for you if she cares about you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com